What should you do? Drop everything and run to her aid? Calmly tell her to do the work herself? Call a tutor?

A parent can play a healthy role in helping kids to successfully complete their homework assignments. But parents must draw clear boundaries that protect them from offering too much help and their kids from expecting it.

Encourage your child to do as much as possible alone:

“Try the first set of verbs. See what you can do.”

“Read the directions again.”

But if your son or daughter persists in claiming they are unable to understand or complete the assignment, you may need to step in:

“What specific problem are you having?”

“Read it aloud to me, slowly.”

Kids may not appreciate this type of response, preferring, instead, a hands-on approach from Mom or Dad. But it is more helpful when parents gently insist that kids apply critical thinking skills to solve problems themselves.

However, if it becomes apparent that the child truly is lost and doesn’t understand the homework concept, the parent may be able to help. Suggest that your child re-read the section that was assigned for homework practice. After he or she has done that, ask if there are any questions. Answer them to the best of your ability. Those you cannot answer, suggest your child write them on paper for the teacher.

Then ask your child to read the first problem aloud, breaking it into parts if necessary. When you get a quizzical look afterward, calmly nudge the problem back to your child:

“What do you think that means?”

“How does the problem relate to what you just read?”

Little by little, help your child deconstruct the overwhelming assignment by looking at each part individually before responding to the whole unit.

Sometimes, though, a homework question is poorly worded or the parent doesn’t know the answer. Suggest that your child skip to the next question or even the next subject. It’s important that he or she continue on a productive path in completing as much homework as possible rather than giving up on one topic and neglecting the rest.

Parents should avoid taking a hands-on approach. A bit of advice or a probing questions can be helpful instead. Obviously, a parent should never do the work for the child. That would be cheating, as would recommending plagiarism or unethical shortcuts of any kind.

Parents have a great opportunity to model problem-solving skills when their kids struggle with homework uncertainties. But when it becomes clear that a child is feeling overwhelmed by an assignment, the parent should make an appointment to talk with the teacher and clarify the situation. No child can master a skill that he or she cannot comprehend, so be sure that learning takes place first, followed by practice later.

When your child gets home from school, it is important to discuss their day and find out what homework they have been given. This allows you and your child to create a plan for getting the homework done.

Some children would rather jump right in and complete their homework rather than have it on their mind all afternoon. Others need a mental break from the day before they can delve into more schoolwork. Either scenario is fine, as long as there is a mutually agreed upon plan.

It is also important to give your child a healthy snack or dinner before they begin their homework. Hunger can be a major distraction, and kids are usually looking for any excuse to put off doing their homework. Eliminate the chance of this distraction by providing a healthy snack, preferably with protein. Good snacks include a piece of bread with peanut butter, some turkey and carrots or a fruit smoothie. These snacks should keep their energy level up and keep them from feeling lethargic.

Next, decide on the best environment for your child to do their homework in. It could be at a desk in their room, at the kitchen table or in an office. Any area is fine as long as it is relatively free from distractions. Never allow your child to do homework with the television on. Many people prefer light background music, and studies have shown that it could be beneficial to thought, versus a room that is dead silent.

Before your child sits down to work, be sure that all the supplies they will need are readily available at the table. Also be sure that they have used the restroom and that they have a glass of water to drink. Avoiding these potential distractions will save your child time once they begin their homework, as well as preventing breaks in their concentration level.

The amount of assistance you provide your child with their homework, again depends on the child. If you are concerned, consult their teacher for guidance on how much help they should be getting. In general, you should be available to answer questions but not hanging over their shoulder doing the work for them.

It is especially important to not overly assist your child on school projects. Parents tend to put too much emphasis on the quality of their child’s cotton ball igloo or Popsicle stick replica of the White House. Oftentimes, parents end up making it their project and the child loses out on a valuable learning experience.

The most important things to remember when helping your child with their homework is to help them stay organized, provide a comfortable work environment and answer any questions they ask without being too involved.